I’m afraid that this first post is not going to be completely positive. I admit fully that these are the rantings of someone who is severely jet lagged, but I also know that Dr. Bolander wanted me to keep records of my thoughts as I was having them. So, here they are. I’ll put the positives in as well.
The flight to Minneapolis was wonderful. 1 hour, and that was it. The clouds sat around the plane like titanic sentinels of nature, keeping guard over the earth below. That’s my poetic thought for the day.
I met the group in Minneapolis in the process drinking at the bar nearest the gate. The flight to France seemed to take approximately 5000 hours. Once it was over, however, our prof made the decision to not let us rest at all and instead take us out into the city. Indeed, all of our rooms were not even ready for us, so we shoved all of our bags in one of them.
We went outside and started walking, and owing to them having been in my eyes for roughly 15 hours, I lost a damn contact lens that I had just taken from the package mere hours before getting on the first plane. Now I have only one set to last me for all of 6 weeks.
I’m going to have a roommate in La Rochelle, which I thought would be cool at first, but now that I’m interacting with him more, I’m not sure he likes me very much, and the feeling may be mutual. I really don’t want to be judgmental, and maybe this is just me being tired, so I’ll give it more time. I just feel like I’m making a big ass of myself. I’m completely exhausted, and everyone seems to be noticing how out of it I am, and this is their first impression of me. I’m probably just being insecure. My bonus is that I seem to speak French better, or at least more confidently, than many of them do. To be fair, everyone feels like crap and is a bit irritated because of it.
The real problem with me right now is that I’m lonely. When the plane was landing, I realized that this is the real deal. I have no way out. I feel completely trapped here with these unfamiliar people who might not like me with a language that I only marginally understand. The reality that I can’t see my family for six entire weeks is completely crushing my desire to see this through. Were I a more cowardly person, I’d want to come home right now.
Alright, enough of that crap. The reality is that this will get better. Tomorrow I’ll be rested (and, thank heaven, wearing fresh clothes), and the real trip begins. Besides, this thing isn’t that long, and there are plenty of people so far that I get along well with. More updates as I have them.